Onto the third line of treatment
The cancer journey is a wild ride and unfortunately, we found out last week that the chemo pill, Xeloda, that I have been on is not working. The last week of May I started having a lot of back pain. I felt like an old lady getting out of bed, having to take my sweet time due to all my muscles being so stiff. I believe what set it off was me working two days in a row which I had not done for a bit. The supervising PT gave me the best schedule with the easiest patients requiring minimal assistance needed from myself but my body could not handle it. This has been hard to handle emotionally because I have never had issues working multiple days in a row. I wanted to brush it off but by day 10 of continued back pain, I finally told me oncologist about it who ended up pushing my PET scan up by a month. My Signatera numbers were also continuing to rise which added onto the pain and to push the PET scan earlier. We found out all the spots I had previously are continuing to grow and I have “innumerable new osseous metastases” which feels really shitty. I hate that I have not been able to be on a treatment line for metastatic breast cancer for more than 3 months. It is scary running through one line after the other because I know there are only so many. But I am hopeful knowing there continue to be more and more clinical trials and treatments that keep coming available. My first line and my next one are both newer in the past couple of years.
I will start IV chemo on Friday, June 21st. The new medication I will be starting is called Trodelvy. I will be getting a port June 20th, which I never had with my first round of chemo in 2021 due to only needing 4 rounds. I will be having infusions on day 1 and day 8 of a 21-day cycle. I will remain on this chemo until we find it is not working or I am NEAD (no evidence of active disease) is my understanding at this point. I will have my chemo teach on Thursday but my understanding is this chemo comes with all the normal side effects of IV chemo including fatigue, nausea, and hair loss. Last time I did cold capping which helped keep maybe 50% of my hair. Since this is a lot more infusion with likely longer time frame, I will be saying screw it to the hair which is a big hurdle for me to get over mentally. I feel I have never really looked like a “cancer patient” and the thought of losing hair just hits that much harder. My biggest hurdle is what the kids will think. We will be having to have harder conversations with them which we did not have to back in 2021 when they were only a year old. Today, June 19th, marks 6 months from when I got the official call that the spot on my hip was a bone met. I so wish I still only had that 1 bone met and not an “innumerable” amount, gotta love medical lingo. Tom and I will never forget that day in December because we received the call from my oncologist as we were checking in at urgent care for Connor to get his first stitches. I am still impressed we almost made it 4 years with no stitches or broken bones with triplets.
Life can be really hard, messy at times and just really suck but there is always joy to find. My fall back verse to get me through some of these really sucky days is James 1: 2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” I pray that this up and down journey that friends and family have to go through with me brings you hope for a better future. We live in a broken world with so much hurt but every day you or I wake up is a sweet blessing to be kind and loving to others. I saw a shirt today with Lamentations 3: 21-24 “Yet hope returns when I remember this one thing: The Lord’s unfailing love and mercy still continues, fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise. The Lord is all I have, and so in him I put my hope.”
I am so thankful for my faith. I am thankful my parents that raised me in a loving home and put me in all the church activities which set a foundation for my faith. Without faith and hope for the future, I do not know how people walk this journey. The church I grew up in, recently lost a young lady who was only a handful years older than me to a tragic domestic violence event. The youth choir I grew up in showed up for her memorial service and it was such a beautiful but heart wrenching experience. We sung one of our youth choir songs called “A Vessel in Your Hands”. That song hits different as an adult. Take a listen, it’s a beautiful song and reminder, https://soundcloud.com/hope-publishing/a-vessel-in-your-hands . The lyrics that I broke down to while singing was “So if you want to mold me, I’m ready for the pain. I know that you will hold me, till your purpose is made plain.” I do not know what the purpose is for me and my family to have to go through this pain but I trust in the end it will be a beautiful story. Then as I was trying to not lose it the next lyrics go, “In every pain or pleasure, I delight in your commands for Lord you are the Potter, I’m just a vessel in your hands.” All of our lives are just a spec on this earth but I pray that others looking in to my time on this earth see my delight in the plan. I am blessed and grateful everyday. I have the most amazing children that has brought an indescribable love within me. My loving husband, family, friends, and coworkers that continue to show up for us, thank you!
I have been needing to work less to keep my pain at bay which has been hard financially. We made the decision to take the kids out of their 3-day a week daycare to help some with expenses and to allow me to spend more time with them. I have started the holistic recommendations for some supplements including the mistletoe therapy. My dad and Tom just put together the infrared sauna, which yall helped raise money for us to afford, thank you, it is rejuvenating and so nice not having to drive somewhere for it.
To support purchasing a wig for Brittany: http://spot.fund/w4njqsc
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Prayers answered
Side effects were not terrible with xeldoa
My back pain has been very minimal since day 10 of back pain which prompted the earlier PET scan.
Praise that I spoke up about the pain so we could realize sooner than later that my 2nd line of treatment was not working.
My neighbor telling me about and covering a massage by certified oncology massage therapist which happens to be just down the road in downtown McKinney. It was so needed.
Not feeling financially burdened with yalls support
Prayer Request
That my 3rd line of treatment, Trodelvy, be the one that works
Tolerable side effects, that cause minimal effects to our kids daily life
Continued minimal pain
My emotions as I lose my hair, it seems so silly but it just makes it that much more real
Continued support for our family as we navigate this tricky road
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